Hobbies, Family, & Geekery from a Stay-at-Home Dad
I’ve been in this garlicy, bready kind of mood lately, have you noticed? Nah, I bet you didn’t. But if you did, you’re probably wondering what I have up my sleeve next. Go ahead, guess.. (If you guessed bread, I’ll give you another chance to …Read More….
Being someone who has worked in the kitchen, you know what’s right and what’s wrong. You know where someone in the back is cutting corners, and you know why. You can tell when something is done on purpose, like strategically placing burnt, overdone potatoes underneath …Read More….
Have you ever had a giant bowl of pasta, then afterwards still feel a little empty inside? Like something was missing and you just couldn’t figure out what? Well I’ll tell you what was missing…
Garlic Bread.
If you’re having pasta, no matter how much of it you have in front of you, there should always be a plate of garlic bread near by. Matter of fact, I’m sure that’s written in stone somewhere.
And I’m not talking about Olive Garden garlic breadsticks here. I’m talking…
Oh no.. Don’t you sit there and act like you never went to Olive Garden and had their breadsticks. Everyone has. Heck, it’s all people eat there, it’s a proven statistic. A sad one, but it was documented.
But I’m not here to talk about Olive Garden or how fake and terrible they are. I’ll save all that rage for another post.No, let’s get back to the matter at hand. Garlic bread. Real garlic bread. You know, with actual garlic.
I know I say it in every post, but I can’t stress the simplicity of this. If you are that person who buys the loaves of frozen garlic bread in the store, then you really need to just stop. Seriously, don’t buy anymore, those are disgraceful. Pulling that out of the freezer, into the oven and calling it garlic bread is like saying you’re going out for an authentic Italian dinner, and then driving to the Olive Garden.
Damn Olive Garden, just keeps on coming back up. (zing!):
Garlic Bread:1 each ~ Baguette or other long crusty bread
1 stick (½ cup) ~ unsalted Butter
1 ½ tablespoons ~ Fresh Garlic, chopped
2 tablespoons ~ Cilantro, chopped
To Taste ~ Salt and Pepper
Notes:
Alright, fun time:
If you don’t know what a bias cut is, check out this informative video that’s probably going to make you scratch your head at the simpleness it teaches. Bias means to cut at an angle, and it’s mostly for presentational purposes. You won’t be using the ends, but keep them for tasting the mixture.
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| Thinner |
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| Thicker |
Whichever you did, don’t walk away and forget about them. They’re going to be done when the edges are slightly golden. If you want them more golden and crispy, then by all means, you won’t hurt my feelings.
Enjoy, and don’t forget to save some for everyone else.
I’ve been going at this for a couple of months and not once have I mentioned anything with pork. This realization has brought much shame to not only me, but my family and heritage as well. As a matter of fact, this is probably the reason …Read More….
After checking out what I’ve done with past posts, I’ve decided to stop including quotes in all my posts. I wanted to keep it going, and I love the inspirational feeling, but I’m just tired of finding a really good one that goes with the …Read More….
Desserts are like mistresses. They are bad for you. So if you are having one, you might as well have two.
I’m a sweet guy. When I go out to eat at a new place, the first thing I do is check out the dessert menu. Ha, did you think I was talking about being nice? Well, that too, but I’m also a sucker for sweets, I can’t help myself. And no matter how much I eat before it, there is always room for dessert. I have no shame in admitting this here, but after a big meal, the server asks if there is any room for dessert, I sometimes have to hold back. But the only reason is I don’t want to embarrass the wife, if it was just me I’d tell that server, “damn straight there’s room! Bring on your finest freezer burnt ice cream and luke warm ‘freshly baked’ brownie!” But no, I show restraint, especially when they come back with, “oh, full huh? [harhar – stupid server laugh]” Dude, you don’t know me…
I’m crazy about a good dessert. I know you can’t really be surprised by having the same cheesecake all the time or a Pizookie, but damn if they don’t make you happy on the inside. I get a little too crazy sometimes though. I feel fairly comfortable with you guys so I’ll go ahead and confess something… Sometimes, when sharing whatever dessert with my wife, I get a little touchy. Like if she takes too much crust off a cheesecake, or if she eats more brownie than ice cream, therefore throwing off the brownie to ice cream ratio that is left when she is done, I go on the offensive. I love my wife, which is why when she does things like that I give a playful jab with my fork or spoon, you know, as a little warning. Sometimes she disregards my subtle hints, so I have to get drastic and move the plate out of her reach and put her on timeout while I fix the imbalance she caused. This in turn leads to her threatening to shove her utensil of choice into whichever part of my body she feels would prove her dominance best. That’s usually when I realize I’ve broken an unwritten law: Taking (most of the time) chocolate away from a woman.
But I digress…
Well here I am, giving it back. With this insanely easy recipe, we don’t have to go out and deal with pissed off servers and overpriced and/or overcooked food. We could stay home, in our underwear, and enjoy our own Molten Chocolate Cake.
Yeah, I said it… Molten… Chocolate… Cake.
Just rolls off the tongue. Like …Lava
Silky, gooey… Chocolate Lava.
Flowing like liquid hot mag-ma.
Ok, I’m done.
It’s one of the most decadent, rich, and visually appealing desserts today. If you’ve never had one before, you should be paraded down a crowded street to be poked and laughed at. Seriously, what have you been doing with your life? Well no matter, there are no more excuses. No more, “It’s too difficult to make” or “I have no kitchen experience”. A 10 year old can probably follow the recipe and make this. So get off it, and get cracking! There’s huge payoffs that come with knowing how to make one of these. Depending on the situation, it’s practically guaranteed praise at dinner parties, or unconditional love and devotion from your significant other or maybe even another date with a special someone (you still have to play your cards right, I can’t do all the work). So just trust me and you can thank me later:
Molten Chocolate Cake (adapted from here)1 cup ~ Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
½ cup (1 stick) ~ Butter, cubed
1 tablespoon ~ Cocoa Powder
1 cup ~ Powdered Sugar
1 teaspoon ~ Vanilla Extract
½ teaspoon ~ Cinnamon
2 each ~ Eggs
2 each ~ Egg Yolks
½ cup ~ All-Purpose Flour
Simple stuff, eh? If you want to throw in your favorite liqueur, just replace the Vanilla with what you’d like. This recipe is going to make about 4 individually sized cakes.
I used some ramekins I picked up at Target on clearance and some Soup Crocks that I’ve had for a while now. The recipe filled up the crocks a little less than halfway which is more than enough because they were pretty big around. You can find something cheaper, but this is just to give you an idea. They’re great for entertaining, not to mention the presentation compliments the special feel the cake brings to the table.
Another note before you get unimaginably excited to make this: Molten Lava Cakes usually get their signature lava-ness by taking them out of the oven before they’re fully cooked. This means there is a slight chance the eggs in the batter may cause you to experience the molten lava more than once, if you know what I’m sayin’. If you’re the type to eat your eggs over easy you probably don’t care about stuff like this, but if you’re pregnant or are really cautious about consuming raw eggs, then I’d regretfully skip this one and wait till I can do a safer recipe. Or you can go somewhere else to find one and risk hurting my feelings.
All that said, my wife is allergic to eggs and she was perfectly fine after eating this! So it really is up to you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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| I added the Cocoa Powder in with the chips because I was feeling frisky |
So you see what I was talking about? Amazing, isn’t it? It looks like a cake, but when you first stab it, the chocolate oozes out as if you just violently murdered it, and you start thinking, “oh no, I killed it, look, it’s dying. It’s losing so much chocolate blood, I’m sorry, cake.” But then you taste it and you’re all like, “OMG, die you unbelievably amazing cake. Die, die ,die. I’m a vampire and want to suck your chocolate blood.”
Oh, don’t act like you don’t vampire roleplay with your food.
Even were a cook to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. ~Polish Proverb Growing up, my mother cooked everyday. Yeah, we’d occasionally get a pizza night …Read More….
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. ~Groucho Marx I don’t mind eating healthy. I enjoy fruits and veggies prepared in numerous ways. But I must say …Read More….
Strawberries are the angels of the earth, innocent and sweet with green leafy wings reaching heavenward.
Guess what? Summer is creeping up quick! I’ve made it clear that I have a newfound love for spring, but summer and I have a long, weathered past. While I loved it growing up, living in Florida for close to 10 years kind of burned up any affection I had towards the season.
I never realized until now how much Florida is like Westeros, where the seasons have no specific time of beginning or ending, so there is no explanation needed for a year long summer. Florida would make the Starks go from the most honorable to the most dishonest family of the Seven Kingdoms.
No sir, you’re wrong. Winter is definitely not coming.
But we’re not there yet! We still have a few more weeks till we say bye to spring and watch the days grow longer.
Matter of fact, what I have today is perfect for the transition from spring to summer. You know, those crazy hot days that pop up out of nowhere, leaving you feeling dry with nothing really hitting the spot. Well, this is going to hit that spot and give it a brain freeze in the process.
Only thing is you’re going to have to let me talk about strawberries and how awesome they are. Is that ok? Can I get into my spring zone again and get all excited about fresh flavors without any judging or name calling? C’mon, they’re strawberries! Who doesn’t appreciate strawberries??
Their sweetness, their aroma, their bright red color, it’s no wonder why they’re one of the most sensual fruits; they’re appealing in almost every sense. But as popular as they are, strawberries are misleading, lying to your face. How so? Botanically speaking, a strawberry isn’t even a berry! The nerve, right?! I hope you’re ready to pick up the science I’m about to drop…
By definition, a strawberry is not a berry, but an aggregate accessory fruit.
A berry is a fleshy fruit produced from a single ovary. A strawberry is produced from several ovaries, which makes it an Aggregate fruit. That part is easy, now to get deeper… You know the “seeds” on the outside of the strawberry? Those are not seeds. They’re ovaries!
You see, a fruit is the ripened ovaries (together with seeds) of one or more flowers. If you look close enough at a “seed” of a strawberry, you’ll see the actual seed inside of it, which in turn makes the “seeds” as we know them actually fruit! Those fruits are called Achene.
But if the achene’s are the fruit, what does that make the strawberry? A liar, that’s what! Oh, and an Accessory fruit, a fruit in which the flesh is not derived from the ovary, but from accessory tissue.
See, now when someone complains about strawberry seeds stuck in their teeth, you get to be the smartass person and explain to them how those are fruits not seeds and how the strawberry is a big fat liar. This is also great information to have when starting conversations at parties. Do it! The world must know!!
Once you’ve finished picking up the pieces of your mind that I’ve just blown, check it out:
Strawberry Sorbet3 cups ~ Fresh or Frozen Strawberries
1/3 cup ~ Sugar
1/3 cup ~ Water
2 tablespoons ~ Lemon, Lime or Orange Juice
You may want to taste your strawberries to see how sweet they are. If they’re sweet enough for you, you may want to cut back on the sugar, but if they’re more on the tart side you may want to add a bit more. This is all on your preference.
As for the process, words cannot describe how insanely easy this is to do:
What you’re making here is a Simple Syrup.
A simple syrup is equal parts sugar and water, boiled until the sugar dissolves basically allowing you to add sugar in a liquid form. Pretty handy when you want to sweeten something up without the gritty texture of sugar, which is why it’s used a lot in making drinks. It’s also great for brushing on a cake to keep it moist.
At this point, if you’re fortunate enough to own a fancy shmancy ice cream machine, you can pour the puree in there and make the sorbet following whatever instructions came with your technologically advanced machinery. But if you’re like us commoners who have to buy our own ice cream…
From here you have a tasty strawberry ice. You can scrape it off and eat it just fine. I haven’t tested it, but I’m sure this would be awesome as a popsicle. If you have popsicle molds, skip the shallow container and just pour the puree in there. Boom, instant happiness.
But if you’re looking for a fluffier, more sorbet like product:
The air you incorporate into the already once frozen sorbet will stick around and keep it airy (fluffier) when it’s refrozen.
Whether or not you want to go through the agonizing trouble of having to clean the food processor again, if you taste your sorbet and feel like it’s too sweet or not sweet enough, simply let it completely thaw at room temperature, and either add water or more simple syrup and then freeze again. Repeatedly thawing it out and refreezing won’t damage anything, so do it to your hearts content.
If you’re not keen to strawberries, substitute them for oranges, lemons, limes, watermelon, whatever. Would it work? I don’t know! But there is absolutely no reason why it shouldn’t. It’s a simple process and a simple product, so go ahead and experiment and let me know how it turns out.
And that’s that. You can now look forward to a summer filled with easy, healthy and refreshing sorbets!
Enjoy.