The Freshman Class: Santa Cruz Episode 1 Thoughts

I know, I know. I said I was just going to delete them all but I couldn’t help it. I realized they were only 30 minute long episodes, so I figured I wouldn’t get that stressed out. If they were an hour long then this post wouldn’t exist.

This subject is kind of a sour one for me. So please, do not get offended if you went to and loved culinary school. Or if I’m making, what you think may be, broad generalizations of the way people are. I do not mean any disrespect, and if I did disrespect you I honestly could not help myself 😀

I’ll be holding back some insight though because I would like to one day write a book on how much culinary school sucked for me. One day. Most likely after [insert publisher’s name here] offers me a contract to do it. Just.. putting that out there..

Anyway, what I’ll be doing is watching the episodes and taking notes as they play out. That means there will be spoilers. So if you haven’t watched this yet and would rather save all the excitement as a surprise then I would stop reading this. If you’re game, here we go!

  • I know I’m weeks behind, and I’ll probably sound like an idiot if I’m wrong on some assumptions, but it should be a testament to the fact that I am not skipping ahead. Trust me, this is not worth that much effort.
  • So far according to the intros, I can tell 95% of them (and I’m being generous) won’t stay in a culinary position a few months after school. And that’s assuming they even make it out of school.
  • Their first task is catering a 160 person wedding? Haha! I hope no one is paying for that.
  • I wish I got thrown into it like they did, with a catering job as their first assignment. The way our course went, we didn’t work the inside of a restaurant (the restaurant that was part of the school) until our very last class. And even then, it wasn’t like this where you had one person doing a specific task. In our restaurant class we had 3 or 4 people working one station, so you were lucky if you got to actually do something besides twiddle your thumbs.
  • One thing I always hear about new or wanna be culinary students is they love to cook at home. Loving to cook at home is not the same as loving cooking in the industry. There is a huge difference that can’t be winged or faked. This is usually the first indication that they’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Go to culinary school if you have a passion for cooking non-stop for 8 or 9 hours if you’re lucky, while trying to juggle 5 or 6 other things you have to get done at the same time. And that’s the absolute bare minimum.
  • Whatshername, the one who used to go to culinary school 20 years ago but dropped out, her husband looks like a huge dick. I dare you to watch and not say the same. She dropped out of culinary school, something she loved, because they were fighting all the time due to the fact she wasn’t there. She said “he needs a lot of attention” as the camera showed him sitting on the counter, staring at her working hard to cook dinner as if he was a 12 year old brat. Did he offer to help? No way! That’s not his style. He’s probably never offered to help because that’s just the way señor dick rolls. On top of that, he’s super supportive. He’s betting on her not going anywhere with her career. He said “our lives have always been about me and my career…”  Yeah, he said that. And yeah, I laughed. It’s totally sad though because she has this look about her when she’s talking about her husband or even looking at him. Like she is constantly questioning her life choices. She never had any type of career, doesn’t have kids, all she has is king douche. She looks like the type that has been taking his crap for years and years and one day she’s just going to snap and cut him up into pieces, grind him good, and bake him into a pie and serve it to her peers. So by far, that makes her the most interesting person to follow on the show so far.
  • The first red flag to baking mom should’ve been the instructor making her the baker because she loves to bake.. but then tasking her with baking the bread for 160 people. On top of that, she has 4 hours to make it all. Ha! You’re not in your kitchen anymore, Dorothy.
  • The 22 year old ex-gangbanger loves to cook and is thankful for the opportunities he has now. So to show his appreciation, he oversleeps and is 15 minutes late to the first assignment. Hilariously classic!
  • As soon as the old guy said he broke his back, I knew this was the wroooooong choice for him. I feel bad, but man, this is not the thing to get into.
  • Then he got mad that he failed the catering evaluation because his back went out and had to leave halfway through. He wasn’t mad at himself for not being able to do it, he got mad at the instructor because “she has it out for him.” He was raising his voice and talking over the instructor when she was trying to explain, it was sad. Sad because she seems really nice for a chef instructor and I was expecting her to rip him a new one but she didn’t. He even said “does your personality conflict with mine because I’m a master chef in a beginner class?” I shit you not, he said that with the most serious face and I almost died laughing. Then he started dropping the disability card and whatnot. Listen, I’m not saying his disability is false nor do I have any problems with anyone with disabilities. But dropping the “I’m disabled, I had to leave, do you have a problem with my disability” crap is a surefire way to not get ahead in anything to do with the kitchen. He’ll be lucky if he can finish the semester, let alone hold a job. Especially with his attitude. I would’ve given him a verbal slap to the back of the head and set him straight right there.
  • Then the only job we saw him doing – chopping the fruit – was done sloppily. He hasn’t worked any job for 8 years and the first thing he’s doing is trying to chop fruit like a maniac. I was shocked he didn’t slice his thumb off. I thought the warning of “watch your thumb” from the instructor was one of those subliminal secret messages in tv shows and what they were really trying to say was “hey, watch this, he’s going to chop his thumb clean off, it’s going to be great!” Alas, no disembodied parts. But I guarantee someone will take a trip to the hospital this season.
  • Ok, I really digressed with that point. What I was trying to say is he was doing a sloppy job at the one thing we saw him doing. You can tell he was careless because the instructor told him to pick up the pieces of fruit that were falling on the floor and he walked like 6 feet away to get the fruit. Seriously, did he think he was a Fruit Ninja? How did it fly so far?! And then! The best part.. instead of throwing it in the trash, his unfocused ass threw it in the pot with all the good fruit he had already chopped! In front of the instructor! I’m willing to bet my culinary degree (whatever that’s worth) that if the instructor didn’t see that, he would’ve left it in there. And then he’s knocking over his tubs of fruit into other people’s stations, he’s just a mess.
  • As you may have guessed, I don’t like this dude.

The highlights for the rest of the season look entertaining. Baker mom has to choose between class and her selfish kid’s play. Whatshername’s dick husband looks like his dickery will continue tenfold so that’s great to see. The ex-gangbanger is getting a stern talking to from the director of the school so it looks like his punctuality is maintaining a steady course. And the old man is telling the director how the instructor has it out for him. Crying, binge drinking, stressed out hair pulling, all being held together by the biggest dick of a husband I’ve ever seen.

You know, this show ain’t half bad! We’ll see how the rest unfolds. Again, I’m trying to keep myself entertained while watching so don’t get offended at anything I may say.

You can watch along on Cooking Channel.


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