Tag: recipes

Candy Cane and Pretzel Holiday Bark

Candy Cane and Pretzel Holiday Bark

What’s This It’s Christmas time!! Kris my Kringles, where the heck has the year gone?! I know, I’m pretty bad with this blog thing during the holidays. So many great blogs out there with so many holiday posts coming out of their yule logs. Christmas …Read More….

Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds

Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds

I Put a Spell on You Alright, so If you’re doing Halloween remotely right, there are very good odds you have already, or will be carving up a pumpkin very soon. And when you’re in there, getting elbow deep in pumpkin guts, you may or …Read More….

The Wife’s Sunday Dinners – Baked Macaroni and Cheese

The Wife’s Sunday Dinners – Baked Macaroni and Cheese

baked mac and cheese 2

Dark Horse

Update 10/26/19: So the mad scientist that the wife is, improved her recipe! After countless experimentations, and even more cursing and swearing, she has found the perfect balance of cheeses and creams and macaroni. Seriously, just thinking about it is making my mouth water for her cheesy goodness. Check out the new ratios below! And in the new format, with a recipe box right up front and center! Take that, you food blog haters! What are you going to complain about NOW, huh?!

Baked Macaroni and Cheese

The wife created a shrine of pasta and encircled herself in toasted breadcrumbs so she can channel her inner southern charm and create an irresistibly cheesy and delicious baked mac and cheese. I'd say selling her soul to the comfort food gods was worth it!
Author: Mrs. Los
Cost: Priceless

Ingredients

  • 1 each Macaroni Elbows 16 oz box
  • 4 Tablespoons Corn Starch
  • 1 teaspoon Salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon Pepper
  • 3 cups Whole Milk
  • 3 cups Heavy Cream
  • 4 Tablespoons Butter the real stuff
  • 5 cups Sargento Mild Cheddar finely shredded
  • 1 cup Sargento Sharp Cheddar finely shredded
  • 8 oz Kraft Mild Cheddar block, cubed
  • to taste Salt

Topping

  • 1 cup Sargento Mild Cheddar finely shredded
  • 2/3 cup Breadcrumbs italian seasoned
  • 1/2 cup Parmesan Cheese grated (optional)

Instructions

  • Turn on the oven to 375 and get the salted water boiling. Throw the pasta in there and cook for 6 minutes. Once it’s done, drain it as best you can and put it in a fairly big bowl. Preferably one that can double for a Halloween candy bowl. Ok, fine, just kidding.
  • In a heavy bottomed pot, put the corn starch, salt, and pepper. Turn up the heat to medium, medium-high heat, and pour in the milk and cream while stirring constantly. Like, constantly. See the post below.
  • Stir until everything is incorporated. Once it is, add the butter and keep stirring till it’s melted. Then, keep stirring till the mixture starts to boil. Once it does, let it boil for one minute (while still stirring) and then take it off the heat.
  • Go ahead and put all the shredded and cubed cheese (whatever isn't set aside for the topping) in the milk mixture and stir it around until all the cheese is melted. It won’t be perfectly smooth, and that’s ok.
  • Pour the cheese mixture into the bowl with the macaroni, and give it a really good stir until all the cheese is in there.
  • At this point, you want to taste it. She always give me this pleasure because I’m “so damn picky and can never have enough stupid salt”. Ahhh, it's like she knows me. Anyway, taste and salt. Don't be shy. You want it to be addictive like you NEED more before your head explodes from anticipation. If you're not getting that feeling, then it's too bland.
  • After you taste it, add salt, and taste it again, you’ll be ready to pan it up. So get your pan (or pans) and spray with non-stick. Pour the heavenly river of cheesy goodness in and marvel in its glory.
  • Top with the rest of the shredded cheese. And if you’re doing parmesan and breadcrumbs (which you reeeeeeally need to do), Mix them together, and then sprinkle them on top as well. Or just do it separate, who cares!
  • After that, it’s ready for the oven. So put it in for 25 minutes and do the hardest part of the whole recipe. Waiting.
  • If it’s not browned good, turn on the broiler for a minute or two till it is. DON'T WALK AWAY. The broiler is NOT your friend. It will turn on you faster than your best friend in high school with that girl that you liked.

Notes

  • Notice the name brand cheeses. No, we're not being fancy pants. Like I said, wife tried numerous times to get the recipe right, and of all the different cheeses she's tried, these turned out the best tasting, and least amount of oil from the cheese.
  • I love the parmesan and breadcrumbs on top. She adds a fraction of what I would add because “the kids don’t like it”, but I think the breadcrumbs make the topping. So it’s up to you.
  • You want to use mild cheddar as the main cheese, but don’t be afraid to use different ones in there also. Actually, yeah, be afraid. You might totally mess it up! But don't let that scare you, go ahead and be adventurous. For instance, in a batch before, she used mild, sharp, parmesan, and pepper jack. So if you have a few open bags of shredded cheeses in your fridge then now is the perfect time to put them to use. If you daaaaaaare.
  • This is a great dish right out of the oven. If you cut it up right away it’ll be melting everywhere and won’t hold it’s shape. But if you wait for a few hours after baking, or the next day even better, then it’ll hold a great shape thanks to all the cold cheese. It’s easy to reheat and will be amazing for a few days after.
  • The shape it holds makes it perfect for fried mac & cheese if you’re into that sort of thing.
  • Which you freaking should be. My goodness, fried mac & cheese? C’mon..
  • This recipe can make a nice, thick, 9×13 sized baking dish of mac & cheese. If you’d like, you can totally split it into 2 9×13 baking dishes. You know, Thanksgiving is coming up so that’ll be a good option for that.

I hope you guys are ready because this is a post yeeeeeears in the making. Ever since I started the blog I’ve been trying my hardest to get permission to do this recipe. And after countless hours of drilling and persuading, I finally got the rights from the creator to go for it.

Yes, my wife is finally letting me post her Baked Macaroni and Cheese recipe!

What?! What do you mean what’s so special about mac & cheese? Are you high?! This is about as comforting as comfort food gets! And it’s easily my favorite dish from my wife’s repertoire.

Little known fact: Before my wife, I never had baked mac & cheese. No, before you start questioning my childhood, I wasn’t deprived… I was Hispanic. Rice, beans, plátanos, yucca and avocados graced our tables. I’m not complaining, trust me. But still, my eyes weren’t open to new worlds till she opened them. And she wonders why I love her so.

Sadly though, she doesn’t make it nearly as often as I would like. “It wouldn’t be special if I made it all the time”, she’d say. And I’d always counter with “I know, it’ll be even MORE special!”

She never buys my reasoning though, so I’m forced to wait countless months between every preparation. As if macaroni elbows are only in season 4 times a freaking year.

On top of that, every time it is made I beg and plead to let me document her making it so I can put it on the blog. “No, it’s my recipe, not yours. I’m not going to have you steal it like you did my Biscuits & Gravy recipe.”

For the record, I have no idea what’s she’s talking about.

But! Something happened this time. Something clicked in her head and she didn’t stop me when I proclaimed “I’m going to get my camera!” Nope, she went along with it. And on top of that, she even cooperated and told me the measurements! I totally thought my luck ended with being able to take pictures and I was going to have to guess everything else.

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I had a lot of fun just sitting back and taking pictures, as you’ll probably notice from the photographic evidence in the post. Kinda makes me wish she had a blog and I just took the pictures and wrote stuff. A huge thing I’m thankful for is she made this on one of the brightest days since fall started. And I love me natural light so the shots came out great.

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The catch though was she wasn’t waiting for me. Through the whole thing she probably warned me twice on what she was about to do to get ready on either side of her. Despite her rushing trying to do stuff before I set up the shot and general disapproval, I know deep down she enjoyed it too. Those dirty looks and mumbled curses she gave – every time I told her to “do that again!” or “pick up a good handful of cheese and drop it from this height…[click-click] yeeeess! [click] ohhh yeeeah, right there!… Now do another handful just in case..” – were all out of love and fun for the project.

And because every good recipe has a back story, she told me this one’s:

Nothing crazy like the recipe was found behind a picture frame in an basement, but she has been having this mac & cheese since she was young. Her mom used to make it for her and she always looked forward to it. And get this, she only made it twice a year. Twice. A. YEAR! That’s borderline child abuse. I guess macaroni elbows were even more scarce than they are nowadays.

So above, you will find the comfort food of comfort foods, my favorite dish next to pizza, and something that I always look forward to. Is it the best ever? Maybe. Is it worth this hype? You bet your ass.

Since the recipe is above and all the info is there, that doesn’t mean I’m going to let all these glorious pictures go to waste! Below are the original instructions with the pictures to help you visualize. 

  • Off the bat, oven to 375 and get the salted water boiling. Throw the pasta in there and cook for 6 minutes. Once it’s done, drain it as best you can and put it in a fairly big bowl. Preferably one that can double for a Halloween candy bowl. Ok, fine, just kidding.
  • In a heavy bottomed pot, put the corn starch, salt, and pepper. Turn up the heat to medium, medium-high heat, and take your insane amount of milk and pour it in while stirring constantly.

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And I mean constantly. This is one step that she’s serious about because it was the bane of many batches of mac & cheese that we had to sacrifice to the Comfort Food Gods. She is adamant about sitting there and stirring, stirring, stirring. If you don’t then the corn starch will not incorporate properly and will wind up sticking to the bottom of the pan and it will burn. Which brings me to another of her warnings: When stirring, don’t scrape the bottom of the pan. Just in case your constant vigilance and stirring isn’t enough and you wind up getting some corn starch burning on the bottom, if you scratch it and break it up, your entire batch of mac & cheese will taste burnt. TRUST me when I say it will be one of the saddest days of your life if that were to happen.

So just do us all a favor and stir, stir, stir, just don’t scrape the bottom.

  • Anyway, stir until everything is incorporated. Once it is, add the butter and keep stirring till it’s melted. Then, keep stirring till the mixture starts to boil. Once it does, let it boil for one minute (while still stirring) and then take it off the heat.

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After that, it’s time to bring in the tower of power. That huge bowl of orangy goodness that you’ve been staring at since you started. 

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  • Go ahead and put all the cheese that isn’t part of the toppings in and stir it around until all the cheese is melted. It won’t be perfectly smooth, so that’s ok.

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  • Pour the cheese mixture into the bowl with the macaroni, and give it a really good stir until all the cheese is in there.

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  • At this point, you want to taste it. She always give me this pleasure because I’m “so damn picky and can never have enough stupid salt”. Ahhh, I love when she thinks about me like that.

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  • After you taste it, add salt, and taste it again, you’ll be ready to pan it up. So get your pan (or pans) and spray with non-stick. Pour the heavenly river of cheesy goodness in and marvel in its glory.

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  • Top it with the rest of the shredded cheddar for the topping

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  • if you’re doing parmesan and breadcrumbs (which you reeeeeeally need to do), Mix them together and then sprinkle them on top as well. Or just do it separate, who cares!

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  • After that, it’s ready for the oven. So put it in for 25 minutes and do the hardest part of the whole recipe.

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Wait.

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  • If it’s not browned good, turn on the broiler for a minute or two till it is.

When it comes out, have tissues ready to wipe the tears of joy from your eyes. Now remember, you can dig in, but I’d say its best to wait till it settles and it’s not a pool of melty, runny cheese. Whatever you choose to do, just get a plate and enjoy the roni out of it.

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And that’s that. It’s seriously simple and utterly amazing. Magical. Devine. Should I go on? Because I could.

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May or may not be my portion..

I’m so happy to be able to post this here. It really is one of my favorite things ever, and to be able to do it like this – a recipe of my wife’s, her cooking it and me just taking pictures – was insanely fun and a great memory to share with her. I cannot wait to do it again soon, even though she’d probably be ok with never having me take 600 some odd pictures over her shoulder while she’s trying to cook dinner. She has a good handful of stuff she makes that I love, but she refuses to regularly cook. Says stupid stuff like she’s intimidated by my background. Pfft! Maybe she’ll do more stuff now, we’ll see.

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Until next time! Adios.

Oatmeal Cinnamon Chip Cookies

Oatmeal Cinnamon Chip Cookies

Conquistador So I started thinking, and I couldn’t remember the last time I made cookies. I remember strawberry, nutella & balsamic reduction empanadas, and an obscene amount of key lime brownies. But not cookies. With being out of the cookie game for so long (yes there’s …Read More….

Mango Salsa

Mango Salsa

Summer! …Summer is here, right? It better be because it’s pretty hot out there. It could be just as hot here as it is in Florida but I wouldn’t complain. I’d be able to find solace in the fact that the heat will only last …Read More….

Key Lime Brownies

Key Lime Brownies

key lime brownies

Boom

There are no words that can truly express the pure and utter joy I currently have. Not because we won the lotto or anything trivial like that. But because I can finally post these brownies.Let me tell you the story that led to this glorious moment.

It all started when I was trying to think of something to do for my friends at Wilton. It had been a while since I posted for the #WiltonTreatTeam so I knew I wanted to do something. I also knew I wanted to take advantage of it being spring so I definitely wanted to go fresh and vibrant. But what? Citrus cake? Maybe fruity cupcakes? I started looking around my kitchen and noticed I had a few different bags of candy melts, and that’s when it hit me.

I remembered seeing Red Velvet Brownies during the Wilton Sweet-Up and thinking how clever is was to use candy melts in something like that. So with that lingering in my head and noticing I had Key Lime Pie candy melts….

lightbulb

Perfect. It’s something different you could do with candy melts so why not. I opened the bag up so the wife and I could taste a few and quickly thought, “eh.. I could just get another one from the store,” and proceeded to snack on half the bag while brainstorming. A trip to every store in my area proved that Wilton is not kidding when they say “Limited Edition” candy melts. I couldn’t find the Key Lime Pie flavor anywhere! Nothing but empty bins and employees that laughed when I asked as if I walked into a store at 6pm on Black Friday looking for the t.v.on the front page. I was told they already sold out of their stock they’re going to have for the whole season. Desperate and shaking now, I started calling nearby cities and finally found a Michael’s that had 3 bags left. I asked to hold 2 in case someone else is searching for them, and the next day I drove 40 minutes to pick them up.

Determination. Get some.

Candy melts in hand, I was ready to get to work. Now if you know me, you know brownies are the bane of my existence. There was a time when I was good, real good, but now it’s like every brownie recipe has it out for me. To spare the details, I went through my 2 bags that I made the journey to Mordor for. Not knowing what else to do, I succumbed to my wife’s pleads as I was sobbing in the corner and just contacted Wilton. Awesome like they are, I was sent enough bags to work with and my will was given new life. Even after another failed attempt (freaking brownies, I swear), I was bound and determined to succeed. If not for me, then by God, I’m doing it for Wilton!

Third time’s a charm, they say, and they are right!

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Sure, they’re not exactly what I envisioned when I first thought up the idea. But they’re pretty darn good. So good, despite being bad batches, we still ate the heck out of them. It was pretty hard to resist too. Every time I saw them sitting there I kinda blacked out, and the next thing I knew I was chewing on one and had two more in my hand. After a few of those episodes I gave some away to neighbors to help wean me off of the addictiveness. Originally I had plans to implement coconut in there, maybe marshmallow to act as the meringue you find on a key lime pie. But I’m perfectly happy with the fairly spot on key lime flavor and the graham crust on the bottom.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention? There’s a graham crust on the bottom.

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I’m also happy accomplishing the challenge of making a post showing something different you could do with Wilton’s candy melts. Yeah, we all know they’re great for making candy and molded chocolate, but they’re also great for other things you would normally use regular chocolate chips for. Hopefully these prove that and then some.

Key Lime Brownies         (adapted from allrecipes)

Brownies

1 cup ~ Sugar
1/4 cup ~ Butter
1/4 cup ~ Key Lime Juice
3 cups ~ Wilton Key Lime Pie Candy Melts
4 each ~ Eggs
1 teaspoon ~ Vanilla Extract
1 1/3 cups ~ Flour
1/2 teaspoon ~ Baking Soda
1 teaspoon ~ Salt

Graham Crust

1 1/2 cups ~ Graham Crackers, crushed
2 tablespoons ~ Sugar
Pinch of Salt
6 tablespoons ~ Butter

 

Notes:

  • By definition, a brownie is typically chocolate. I know it probably would’ve made more sense to call these Key Lime Bars or something like that. But honestly, would it have caught your attention? No, brownies catch your attention. I stand by calling these brownies because it’s based off of a brownie recipe, and because structure wise, they share a lot of common similarities. So if you disagree and think they’re more of a bar, to you I say: Potato, po-tah-toe.
  • I used a 9×9 square baking pan. So if you use something different be sure to adjust the baking time.
  • And the amount of ingredients.
  • Basically just change the whole recipe.
  • If you’re curious, 1 1/2 cups of crushed graham crackers equals about 1 1/2 packages of graham crackers (they come 3 packages in a box). Also, 3 cups of candy melts comes out to about 2 bags worth so plan accordingly.
  • You can sub regular lime juice for the key lime juice, no problem.
  • More notes and tips can be found below in the section titled About brownies.

 

                      (this is the section titled)  About brownies

Brownie batter is a temperamental beast with mood swings and a nasty attitude. At least, it is with me. I’ve lost all my luck with making brownies and I have no idea why. I used to make brownies behind the line of a busy restaurant while cooking whatever orders I had. And they always came out great! Something about being domesticated must have smothered my brownie making fire.

To my defense, it is rather easy to mess up brownies. There are a number of factors you need to consider and keep in check or else the universe is going to seem like it;s using you to clean its shoe whenever you try whipping up a batch. Especially with this recipe, as I have learned.

When following a recipe, be sure to stay true to it. If it says they used a certain pan, try and use that pan. If it’s a certain amount of time, keep an eye on the timer. And if it’s a certain temperature, don’t mess with it.

If you use a bigger pan, then the cooking time is effected because the original time was for that certain pan. If they used an 9×9 and you’re using a 9×13, your mix will have more room to spread out and in turn it will cook faster and not have as much volume as intended. So your end product will definitely be different than what you’re supposed to get. But it’s ok, just go back and complain to whoever that the recipe sucked. (I’m jk, don’t do that, it’s done enough.)

Temperature is important because if your oven is running hotter or you think a few more degrees won’t hurt it, then you’re in for a treat. If the oven is too hot for the batter, the edges of the pan will be done way before the center. You’ll have nice, brown edges and a nice jiggly, undone center. This is something that leads to sunken brownies because of the raised, done edges and a middle that isn’t ready.

Making the batter:

When making the batter, the one, most crucial thing to remember is do not overmix it. Whenever I made brownies, whether it was years ago at work or today at home, I always made them by hand. I never used a mixer and you don’t really need to. There is no creaming of butter and sugar like you would a cake, there’s no whipping till fluffy, there’s just mixing. And the absolute best, most perfect tools in your kitchen are your own two hands. So use them.

When you overmix brownies you’re doing a few things.

You’re incorporating air. And that is most definitely a bad thing in batters. It happens a lot in cakes and it’s notorious in brownies. Think of making whipped cream.. When you whip cream, you’re incorporating air, making it light and fluffy. It’s exactly what you’re looking for and it’s great. But brownies aren’t meant to be light and fluffy, they’re meant to be moist and chewy. So if you overmix the batter and incorporate air, the dry heat from the oven is going to make that air in the batter rise quicker and greater than what it should, causing it to not bake properly. Once you take it out of the oven, all the air that was inflated will deflate when it hits the cooler kitchen, giving you a sad, depressing sunken pan of brownies. You’ll find the edges done, which is good for the freaking edges, but the center won’t be.

It’s hard to recuperate after that. And I don’t mean the brownies, I mean you. This is the reason for my sobbing in the corner when I had to call in for reinforcements from Wilton. In case you’re trying to remember where I stand with my manhood and ability to cope with disasters.

Another thing you’re doing with overmixing is creating gluten. Gluten is great. I freaking heart gluten hard. But we’re talking things like bread where you’re aiming to create gluten by working the dough; kneading, resting, kneading again. You don’t want the tough, chewy, air pocket infested insides that you desire in bread to be in your brownies. Again, you want moist, soft, melt in your mouth chewiness that you need a cold glass of milk to wash down. But if you overmix the batter, you won’t get that. Know what you’ll get? Another trip to your tear soaked pillow wondering why the world hates you.

So just do us a favor…

  • Don’t overmix your brownies.
  • Mix by hand. Use a wooden spoon. It’s easier to overmix with something like a whisk.
  • When you add the eggs, add them one at a time. Wait till one is almost fully incorporated then add the other. If you put 4 eggs in at once and try to work them in, they won’t let you. You’ll be swirling 4 eggs around a pan with batter swirling right along next to it. One at a time ensures you’ll get each one into your batter where it belongs. Everything will emulsify properly, and everything will be as happy as Pharrell Williams.
  • The incorporation and adding of the flour and other dry ingredients (all put in together) is where you need to be careful. Mix slowly. Fold in. Stop mixing the second you see the last streak of flour disappear into the batter. Ok, give it a few pushes around to see if there are big clumps that will pop when touched, but other than that put the spoon down and walk away. You will more than likely see some clumps, and it’s not really pretty to look at. But the risk is not worth getting those out. Just make sure there are no huge ones. And if you’re mixing something like nuts into the batter, be mindful and do it before all the flour is incorporated. That way everything can be mixed in and be done at the same time. If you must, hire someone. Tell your kid you’ll give them a dollar to slap your hand if they see you trying to get every lump out. You’re probably going to need something because odds are if you’re reading this insanely long post then you’ve had problems with brownies in the past too. So there will be urges to overmix and you just have to say no.

 

I think we’re safe now. Covered all the bases. Let’s wrap this up and get on with it!

  • First thing to do is get the oven on to 325. Then get your graham crackers and put them in a ziplock freezer bag and start pounding away. Use whatever you want, as long as you can get fine crumbs out of it. This is the perfect job for your overly energetic 4 year old that loves Hulk Smashing stuff.

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  • Next, in a bowl, put your crushed graham crackers together with the sugar and the salt and give it a little mix before adding the melted butter. Make sure you stir it around good trying not to leave any dry spots around.

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  • Get your pan and give it a good spray of your favorite non-stick stuff. Then put your graham crackers in there and push them down into a flat layer. Just make sure it’s level and even on all sides and corners, with no holes anywhere. Pop the pan in the oven for 20 minutes or until it’s nice and golden.

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While that’s in the oven though, let’s work on the batter.

  • Take the sugar, butter, and lime juice and put it in a pan. Turn the heat up to med-high and stir making sure everything mixes in.

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  • Once it starts to boil, take it off the heat and put the 3 cups of candy melts in there. Stir that until it’s nice and smooth.

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  • Set it aside and let it cool. You don’t want it hot when you add the eggs in there or you’ll get green scrambled eggs. Once cooled, add the vanilla extract and the eggs. One at a time, remember what we talked about? I hope so, I did a lot of talking.

Now here’s where you have to be careful.

  • Mix the flour, baking soda, and salt together and then add it to the mixture. Stir and fold it slowly, trying to get as much incorporated with every turn of the spoon. And remember to stop when you don’t see anymore flour. Try to break up the big lumps by pounding them out or squishing them against the sides of the pan. Once it’s ready, pour it on top of the graham crust.

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  • Pop it in the oven, drop the temp to 320, and let it be for 40-50 minutes. Yeah, I know, 320 sounds weird. But hey, that’s what worked. When you take it out of the oven let it cool in the pan for a few hours. Sorry, you still can’t bury your face in it. But after a few hours, take a knife along the edges, flip it out, cut it up, and rejoice!

IMG_0094Like I said, they’re just like brownies except for the whole no chocolate thing. They came out really good, almost better than what I was expecting. With it being my third try I would certainly hope so.

IMG_0092So go ahead, give them try! Break that typical brownie mold and do it with a perfect compliment to the warm weather outside. With all the tough times I had making these, I swore I’d never make them again. But I’m already second guessing that decision. They’re that good.

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A few side notes:

In case you didn’t notice, this is the first post I’ve done with my new camera! I love what it could do, but I’m still getting the hang of it.

Why did I put the song I did in this post? Because some constellation must have aligned with the sun and my kitchen because this song played while the phone was on shuffle at the exact moment I took the brownies out of the oven. It was so spot on because it captured my excitement perfectly. I may or may not have jumped up and down singing it while aggressively pointing at the pan of brownies on the stove.

Click here to buy Boom by P.O.D.

Modern Blueberry Tarts

Modern Blueberry Tarts

Oh, plans. I’m not very good with planning. See, the original plan was to celebrate the 4th season of Game of Thrones by posting a recipe from the official food blog, Inn at the Crossroads, every week during the season’s duration. I even went as …Read More….

Strawberry, Nutella & Balsamic Reduction Empanadas

Strawberry, Nutella & Balsamic Reduction Empanadas

Counting Stars Look!! Food!!! It’s been a while, let me see if I remember how to do this.. I know it’s been a long time, but if you recall, I was/am on a diet. Weight Watchers to be exact. While I’m already a chiseled hunk …Read More….

Bread and Salt & The Sacred Law of Hospitality

Bread and Salt & The Sacred Law of Hospitality

bread and salt 1

The Rains of Castamere ‘String Quartet’

Happy Game of Thrones Day Week!

I know, I know.. I’m a few days late and I missed all the premier viewing parties, but season 4 just started! You have 9 more weeks to make this and share it with guests!

If you’re not sure what I’m talking about and you don’t watch Game of Thrones, season 4 premiered last night and there is plenty cause for celebration!

If you recall, for season 3’s premier, I posted A Pie of Ice and Fire – an epic beef and bacon pie that is hard to look away from and even harder to not stuff your face with. The recipe was from the Official Game of Thrones cookbook/blog, Inn at the Crossroads, which is authored/ran by, Chelsea and Sariann.

After reminiscing how awesome that pie was and how many people loved it, I started wondering what recipe will I do for this premier. Then I thought – why only do something for the premier?

So I held my breath and I sent a raven to Chelsea, asking if she wouldn’t mind me posting a few of those amazing recipes from Inn at the Crossroads on my blog. To my surprise, not only did she respond, but she was incredibly cool with the idea!

So here we are! My first attempt to honor Inn at the Crossroads and the awesome work they do. I’m going to try and make this a weekly or semi-weekly thing throughout the duration of the 4th season so stay tuned for Game of Thrones related goodness throughout the coming weeks.

So without further ado, let’s talk about Bread and Salt…

It may sound simple and nothing worth dedicating a post to, but I think this is one of the most important foods you’ll find throughout Westeros. Not because of its complexity (which it lacks), presentation or flavor, but because of what it represents.

If you read any of the books and paid attention, you’ll know that food is borderline worshipped throughout the pages. Everything – from the scraps the Nights Watch has to work with to the feasts that grace the tables in King’s Landing – is talked about and described in great details. But there’s one staple that has stood out above all else in Westeros from the times of the First Men.

Bread and Salt.

Bread and Salt are the most traditional provisions used when one wishes to invoke Guest Right.

Guest Right is an ancient and sacred tradition, honored and respected for thousands of years by all known religions and faiths in Westeros. Also known as The Sacred Law of Hospitality, it is a secret bond of trust and honor between a host and his guests that neither shall harm the other. Once the guest has eaten at the host’s table, under his roof, he is under his protection for the duration of the guest’s stay. Breaking these sacred laws is not only considered one of the most heinous crimes one can commit, but is also said to invoke the wrath of both the Old Gods and the New.

If you can recall in season 3, there were two instances where the Guest Right was broken. One was the Mutiny at Craster’s Keep and the other during the infamous Red Wedding.

Looking back, you’ll remember Catelyn and Robb Stark specifically asking Walder Frey to share his bread and salt with them. And during the insane – most social episode of any show in HBO historyThe Rains of Castamere, you can see Stark, his mother, and his men, all standing with Frey as they almost ceremonially shared bread and salt with each other.

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Many thanks to Snark Squad and their awesome gifs!
Click on that link for a great rundown of the episode where all of this took place.

The horrors orchestrated by Frey against his guests who were protected by guest right were heard throughout Westeros. Not only was his house looked down upon with disgust from that moment on, it also destroyed any honor his name had. On top of that, it left the sacred tradition of the guest right in question, with the safety and security in a strange castle no longer guaranteed.

So TL;DR…. Bread and Salt is a huge freaking deal.

I love the aspect of it. A simple thing like bread and salt having so many ties to ancient traditions; an unspoken oath between the host and guest of the house. It’s something that is still being acknowledged in certain cultures, but could be greatly appreciated more throughout the world.

Know how I know? One of the loaves I made for this post was shared between us and house guests we had over for the weekend (their visit was also the reason for this post being late a few days). As we stood around tearing off bread and dipping it in the salt, it almost felt as if we were acknowledging the sacred law of hospitality. It was a great feeling, until I explained the meaning to my wife and her friend who are not fans of Game of Thrones. The eye rolls and the “oh my God, you’re such a dork” I received kinda killed the mood. But still, it didn’t stop the warm feeling inside of partaking in an ancient tradition with friends. It also didn’t stop us from tearing that bread apart.

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I recommend everyone do it at least once, and explain to your guests what it symbolizes. Yes, the best time to do so would be during a Game of Thrones viewing party, but anytime guests visit and stay would be just as good (especially if they’re fans of the show).

Bread and Salt

5 cups ~ All-Purpose Flour, divided
1/2 cup ~ Sugar
2 teaspoons ~ Salt
2 (.25 ounce) packages ~ Instant Dry Yeast
1 1/3 cup ~ Milk
4 tablespoons ~ Butter
2 each ~ Eggs

2 each ~ Eggs, left whole for baking into the dough

1 each ~ Egg, beaten for glaze

Notes:

  • This recipe makes 2 fairly large loaves.
  • As Chelsea pointed out in her post, it’s reminiscent of Easter bread, and when dipped in the salt, will taste almost like soft pretzels.
  • While our guests were impressed with the presentation, they were hesitant about a pool of salt sitting in the bread. After tearing off pieces and dipping it in, the addictive flavor qualities made all hesitation disappear. The loaf was gone in minutes.
  • Kosher salt was used, and is probably best, for dipping.
  • To make the cavities for dipping, 2 eggs are placed in the center of the loaves before baking. These eggs are cooked alongside the bread and are a great accompaniment!
  • No matter what, do not find yourself a guest to or accept bread and salt from anyone named Frey.

Alright lets do it:

  • Get a bowl and combine and stir 1 cup of flour, the sugar, the salt and the yeast. Meanwhile in a small saucepan melt the butter and add the milk then bring it up to about 110-115 degrees. Any hotter and the yeast would be Robb Stark.
  • Take the milk and stir it into the flour mixture, it doesn’t have to be completely incorporated yet. Add 2 eggs and 1/2 cup more flour and now beat well. Add the remaining flour about 1 cup at a time, whisking well after each addition.

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  • Once the dough looks like dough, put it on your favorite floured work surface and knead until smooth and elastic. It should take about a good 5 minutes. Roll it up into a ball when it’s ready.

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  • Get something large enough to fit the dough once it doubles in size. Pour some oil in your container and put the ball of dough in it, being sure to coat the dough itself in some oil. You don’t want it swimming in oil, you just want a coating. Cover the container with a damp cloth and find somewhere warm to let it rise for about an hour until it has doubled in size.

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My oven has a proofing feature. But if yours doesn’t, I used to let it sit on top of a recently used toaster oven, or on top of the refrigerator. I forgot where I read it, so kudos to who talked about it, but the new thing now is to put it on top of the dryer while it’s running. Also, if you live in Florida, just leave it sitting anywhere you’d like and it’ll rise with no problems.

Get it? Because Florida is a giant proofing box..

  • Anyway, when it has doubled, punch it down and plop it on a floured surface. Shape it into a nice even brick and divide it into 3 equal pieces. Take each piece and turn it into a ball. Cover you balls and let them rest for about 10 minutes more since you just got them all worked up again.

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  • Take a ball, flatten it a bit, stretch it out, and start rolling it into a rope. You’re looking for about 1 1/2 inches thick while rolling. Once one is done, set it aside and start rolling the other 2. You’ll be left with 3 ropes of dough.

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You shouldn’t flour your work surface to make the ropes because it’ll be hard to get them to roll and stretch out. I learned that the hard way.

  • Take your 3 ropes and line them up to make a braid. Now I’m not going to lie… I’m a guy and I haven’t the slightest idea on how to make a freaking braid so I had to Google it. Luckily I care enough about you to have done step by step pictures..

bread braid letters

There is one more step I forgot to take a picture of: Putting Rope B over Rope C.

After that just repeat from the beginning until the braid is complete.

  • Once the braid is done, cut it in half. Something I didn’t do that I recommend is gently stretch out the dough a little, then connect the two ends to form a circle, pinch them together, and tuck it underneath to hide the pinch. Do this for the other braid as well.

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I just put them together and tucked which is why my center is towards the side and not in the middle. Either way though, you’re not looking for perfection so it really doesn’t matter.

  • Take the 2 whole eggs and give them a nice coating of oil and carefully slip them into the center of each loaf. The egg is what’s going to create the cavity to fill with salt. As a bonus, the egg cooks along with the bread so you’ll have a nice boiled egg to go with your bread and salt.
  • Place the egged loaves on 2 separate, greased baking sheets (that are not long so they can both fit in the middle rack of the oven), and place them covered with a damp towel in the same warm place until they’ve doubled in size again. It should take about another 45 minutes for the doubling in size.

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  • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, and brush the risen loaves with a beaten egg. Then bake for 40-55 minutes, or until the loaves are dark and golden.

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When they’ve cooled, pull the egg out and fill the divot with salt and you’re done.

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Congratulations! You are now ready to make your guests feel safe under your roof.

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As I said, the flavor is great, dipping it in the salt is addicting, and you feel this sense of pride when breaking it with friends. It will be perfect for any sort of get together, family gathering – like Easter – or viewing party. Haha.. 2 years in a row you get a Game of Thrones post instead of an Easter post. What kind of a food blog is this?!

A cool one! That’s the correct answer.

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Wherever and with whomever you decide to share this with, just be sure to explain its significance. You may be called a dork but at least you’ll look like a knowledgeable dork. And there is a difference!

Happy 4th season of Game of Thrones! If you’re a fan and you’ll be watching, hit me up on Twitter or G+ so we could talk about it.

Click here if you want to checkout the great
string quartet version of “The Rains of Castamere”
performed by Chris Amaterasu

Click here if you want to check out
the chillingly awesome song version of “The rains of Castamere”