Hobbies, Family, & Geekery from a Stay-at-Home Dad
So here’s a more recent recipe. Something that I had made a few times already and decided to take pics of because I thought to myself, “hey, self. This would make a good blog post whenever you decided to blog again.” And look! Here we …Read More….
Here we go! The first food post in forever! I know it’s not so much for you, but for me it’s a big deal! Like, block-out-the-sun type huge! Seriously, It’s really hard to measure my excitement, it’s so astronomical. Marvel in its totality! Ok, good …Read More….
Alright, it’s been a while, so why not give you guys a recipe?!
Fall is coming. And if you haven’t checked your calendar recently, it’s coming ridiculously fast. It’s almost September! So I’m going to try and get the jump on some fall flavors here because let’s be honest, there’s nothing better than fall flavors.
I still haven’t made anything worthwhile in the kitchen. Every time I make something small like banana bread or just regular dinner, I fear for when I do go to blog something. It’s the lighting! The lighting in our kitchen now is soooo… so.. meh. But anyway, here’s a little something I made a while ago when we still lived in North Carolina.
Pork and apples is one of those combinations that you can’t ignore. There’s nothing fancy about it, they just go good together. The flavors mend and compliment each other and it’s just yummy goodness. Combine it with some brown sugar and cinnamon and a few other spices and rum and boy, oh boy.
I prefer to grill the pork chops because, well, the same reason why I prefer to grill anything. For the flavor. But if you have to, searing in a pan and finishing in the oven works just as good. For the apples I’m almost positive I used Braeburn, which you can say is our house apple. Though I’m sure you can use your favorite with no problem as it will bring your own twist to the dish. As far as the rum glaze goes, you could easily omit the good stuff if it’s not your cup of tea. It adds another level of flavor but it’s mainly because I had it on hand and thought it’d be good. Because, you know, I’m Puerto Rican and it’s my natural thought process. “Hmm, now what is it missin… *snaps fingers, pulls out bottle of rum*”
All that said, let’s go check it ou…. what? Oh, me? No, nothing. Just getting to the recipe. No, no history on the pork chop or back story on what apples mean to me. I’m just trying something new here and getting to the point (WINK WINK).
Pork Chops with Rum Apple Glaze
3 each – Apples
3 tablespoons – Butter
1/2 cup – Brown Sugar
1 tablespoon – Cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon – Ground Ginger
1/2 teaspoon – Rosemary
pinch of Salt and Pepper
pinch of Ground Cloves (optional)
1/4 cup – Apple Cider Vinegar
1/4 cup – Dark RumPork Chops – seasoned with at least salt and pepper
Notes:
Ok, so what’s first?
You’re looking for the apples to still have somewhat of a crunch to them. Not too much though. On the other hand, you don’t want them too soft that they’re mush. I know, I should be less cryptic. You would think I knew how to explain myself better by now.
So when you think they’re done, go ahead and slide them off the heat and let them sit there for a bit. Just let them mellow out and relax in the rum… like some of us tend to do. See? I knew you’d understand. While they’re sitting there, don’t be envious, get the pork chops going!
Either way, it’s fine. As long as they’re cooked.
When they’re done, there’s nothing much left to do but….
Yup. It’s as glorious as it looks.
Make sure you scoop up some of the sauce and pour it over the chops.
Cutting into it, letting the sauce soak into the meat. Getting a bite with some apples, all dancing like it’s a rave going on in your mouth.
Yeah, it’s pretty damn good.
And that be that. See? Nice, simple, impressive. Who said fancy stuff takes too long? I did something similar once with a mango salsa I made on a pork tenderloin. I couldn’t tell you which one I liked better because mango and pork is equally amazing. But pork and apples with rum? C’mon now. Plus, summer is coming to a close mighty fast. Best to get out there and say sayonara to it the right way.
Hopefully I could find some other pictures I haven’t posted yet. They should help in this desperate drought of food posts here. Until I figure out how to get to cooking in here, at least. But until then..!
Adios.
Happy Game of Thrones week! For those who don’t know what Game of Thrones is… Who the heck are you?! To my returning fans… I can’t believe we’re on season 5 already, can you?! The premier is Sunday, April 12th on HBO and I’m counting …Read More….
So I’ve been trying to get this on the blog for a while now. It’s been a long time coming and here it is, just in time for it to watch winter hit itself with the doorknob on the way out. We still have a …Read More….
Happy Pi Day!
Can you believe it? We’re here celebrating Pi Day again! I find it rather hilarious that Pi Day is the one constant holiday that I always try to make a post about every year. Why is that hilarious? Because I absolutely despise math! I was always terrible at it as a kid, and just like my maturity level, not much has changed since then.
But we’re not here to talk about my terrible multiplication skills or my growing figurine collection that’s proof I failed to grow up after high school. We’re here to talk about pi!
If you’re not familiar, pi, or π, is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter.
It’s a mathematical constant which means it applies to circles of all sizes. Big circle or small, the pi is always the same. If written out, the actual number is infinite and patternless, as pointed out here where the first million digits are documented. Every year, Pi Day is celebrated by math geeks and non-math geeks everywhere, but this year is special…
See, the first 12 digits of Pi are 3.14159265359. And we celebrate Pi Day on March 14th, or, 3/14, which are the first 3 digits of the constant.
This year, 2015, we’re able to continue on down the sequence since the next 2 numbers are 1, and 5.
3/14/15
But the fun doesn’t stop there! Bringing the time into the mix, we can see – right down to the millisecond – the first 12 digits of Pi on our clock!
3/14/15 9:26:53.59 = 3.14159265359
So see! If you know a nerd and they’re really excited just after breakfast today, then this is why.
Alright, the educational portion of the post is out of the way, let’s talk about pie!
Over the last few years I’ve made some pretty good pies, but they were strangely on the savory side. Strange because I’m such a sweet guy. Well, not like that.. I mean… Yeah, I’m a freaking sweetie pie, ask my wife. No, seriously don’t ask my wife, I’ve bought way too many amiibo lately, her judgement of me may be clouded. But I mean I’m more of a sweet fan than savory, so it’s just weird realizing they’ve been the latter.
Not only that, I’m breaking tradition and not continuing the roll I was on with integrating a fanfic of some sorts in the post. Remember last year? When I reviewed Mrs. Lovett’s Pie Shop from Sweeney Todd, or the year before that when I shared the Shepard’s Pie that I wrote a Mass Effect 3 fanfic for on EZModeUnlocked.com? See, now I feel bad for not tying this into something. That’s what I get for being lazy, I guess.
I mean, it wasn’t until last week when it hit me Pi Day was just around the corner. And when I was trying to figure something out, I did what any other guy would do when faced with a problem – I asked my wife.
I said to her, “Wife! …I need a pie.”
No, not the Rock’s favorite pie! An actual pie. Her gut reaction was apple, and even though I’m a complete sucker for an apple pie, I wanted to do something different. Days went by and nothing was jumping out at me. I asked a few friends and a cream cheese pie with smoked salmon, red onions, capers, and a saltine cracker crust was mentioned, as well as apple pie again. I began leaning towards it – the apple pie, not the insanely intriguing sounding salmon pie – since time wasn’t on my side. But finally, the wife came through with a suggestion. Something I’ve never done before and seemed perfect since she’s a coconut freak.
I started looking around and discovered making a pie crust completely out of shredded coconut was a thing. So if course, I had to do it. Also, I figured it was finally time to jump on the coconut oil train that’s been going for a while now. I can totally see where all the praise comes from, since using it as an alternative to butter really does seem appealing.
As far as the topping goes, I really wanted to use whipped cream. I feel like it’s more flexible and can be infused with flavors, like coconut extract for instance, which let me tell you would’ve been awesome. But there appears to be a heavy cream shortage in my area. I went to 4 or 5 different stores and the only type of heavy cream I found was at Walmart for $7. I love pie, but not that much. So I decided to use Cool Whip despite my feelings towards it.
I know! Somewhere on this site I have a whipped cream post that is in SERIOUS need of upgraded pictures, and in it I proclaimed my disdain for cool whip. But this was an emergency.
How did it all come out? Well let’s have a look!
Coconut Cream Pie (adapted from FoodNetwork.com)
Coconut Crust
2 1/2 cups – Shredded Coconut
5-6 tablespoons – Coconut Oil, melted
Filling
3 cups – Coconut Milk
2 each – Egg Yolks
1/2 cup – Sugar
1/3 cup – Corn Starch
1 teaspoon – Vanilla Extract
2 tablespoons – Coconut Rum (optional)
2 tablespoons – Coconut Oil
1 1/2 cups – Shredded Coconut
Topping
Heavy Cream, whipped, with coconut extract
Cool Whip (optional instead of cream)
Notes:
If you didn’t catch it the first time, I’ve never made coconut cream pie before. To my surprise, it’s insanely easy. Nothing really to it at all. Don’t believe me? Well the proof, as they say, is in the custard….
If you’re like me and you never used coconut oil before, it looks just like this.
Pop it in the microwave and it melts down just like butter would. I should’ve jumped on the bandwagon sooner!
You’re looking for the coconut to feel moist to the point where it should lightly clump together – just like grahams when you make a graham cracker crust.
Where I messed up: I didn’t go all the way to the top of the dish. I should have gone up the sides more till the coconut reached the top of the dish. But for some reason I stopped and you’ll see I regretted it later.
Now, I’ve done this twice. Once I let it go till the edges got brown, then I put foil on them till the rest got brown. Sadly, my mom called for camera taking tips for her trip to Puerto Rico and I kinda sorta forgot I left it in the oven. But let me tell you, toasted coconut smells fantastic! The second time I put the foil on first thing. And when I started noticed browning on the bottom, I took the foil off. There were a few uneven spots when all was said and done but for the most part I was happy with it. So either route you go I’m sure you’ll be fine.
Custard may sound like a difficult thing to do, but I assure you, nothing is simpler.
See, I would’ve had the perfect amount for the size of the dish, but since my crust didn’t go all the way up to the edge, I had to take some custard out to make sure I had room for the cream. It’s not like I threw it away, I put it in a few glasses and had an elegant looking, single serve, coconut cream pie.
But still, it would’ve been nice to have a nice, thick pie as the finished product. So now you know why! Go all the way to the top with the shredded coconut pie crust!
C’mon. Tell me that wasn’t easy, I dare you.
It’s so light and creamy, it’s ridiculous.
Seriously, you could probably eat half the pie and not even notice.
You get your knife and you make that first incision…
Then you slide the spatula in there and slowly take out that first piece…..
Slide it on the plate…….
Introduce your fork to its decadence………
And boom, the entire pie is gone. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
I really thought I was going to miss a regular pie crust. You have no idea how crazy I am for pie crust. But the toasted coconut crust really seals the deal here.
It’s a huge reason why this pie feels so light and fresh. It’s integral to how good the whole package is and I’m glad I went with it. Heck, I’m pretty sure the next time I make a chocolate pie it’s getting a shredded coconut crust. Hmmm, might not be able to wait till next year for that one.
But of course, you wouldn’t know unless you give it a try. I know you keep eyeing that gif with the fork sliding down, don’t lie. Here, want to see it again?
I want to compare it to something, but this is a family friendly blog.
But I’m telling you, once you get that first bite, you’ll be hooked.
Trust me, I’m from an island in the Caribbean, I know my coconut.
Now, there’s an age old debate that is almost wrong to take sides in, but you kinda have to. I mean, if you’re at a party that has both options, you can’t take a slice of each without looking like a greedy jerk. And even if you go back to get the other one, you had to pick one to have first. So which side are you on… Cake or Pie? And no, unless you’re this guy on reddit, you can’t pick both.
I’m curious, where do you stand? I was all about the cake for a long time. I don’t have anything against it and still love it, but pie can be wholesome, light, and fresh. All while being rich and decadent at the same time. You feel guilty if you have a second piece of cake. But not pie! You feel good when you eat pie. I could go on but I don’t want to sway your opinion.
So where does your allegiance lie? Team Cake… or Team Pie?
Once upon a time, in a mystical, unforgivably hot, far away land – that you may know as Florida – lived my wife and I. It’s hard to think about it now, but we were young once. We lived recklessly and laughed in the face …Read More….
Alright, I hope everyone is ready for the best salad that has ever been created! It’s easily the simplest, tastiest, most addicting salad that you’ll probably ever try. Oh man, I sincerely hope you’ve had this before. If you haven’t, please let me know so …Read More….
The day has finally come! I feel like I’ve been holding this secret in forever.
A few weeks ago, the Wilton Treat Team was asked if we’d like to do a Secret Santa cookie swap amongst each other. With me never taking part but always having the urge to participate in one, I jumped at the idea!
I thought the idea sounded like a blast. I was already thinking about the cookie I could make – a hot cocoa crinkle cookie that I love to put together this time of year.
But no, there was a catch! Turns out the cookie had to be crafted/decorated in a taste or style that fit the person they’re for.
Sweet! That’s a great twist, isn’t it? Makes everything about the swap even more exciting.
Turns out the blogger chosen for me was Danielle Doerr from Framed Frosting! It was exciting to get her as my Secret cookie swapping Santa. Her and I have chatted a few times before and she seems real cool. I figured she’d be easy to base a cookie on.
Or so I thought…
A few weeks went by and I had no idea what to do!
I resorted to stalki… no, wait, that’s a bad word. I began researching her social media accounts, trying to find something. I even entered the scary, forbidden land known as Facebook in an attempt to dig something up I could use. I finally found something on Instagram talking about how much she loves fudge oat bars from Starbucks.
Boom! I could make her those! I knew she’d love them, so it’ll be great!
Wrong. It wasn’t until after I got back from the store where I was buying the condensed milk for the Starbucks treats that the rules of the Swap rang in my head…
“Please create a recipe or decorate cookies in a taste/style you feel is well-suited for Danielle….”
It was echoing. Like the ghostly warnings of Jacob Marley. Bouncing off the walls and ringing in my head. I dropped to my knees and held the cans of evaporated milk to my forehead as if they were the chains I was now cursed to carry for eternity. All while thinking out loud, screaming at my chains, “they’re cookies! Why does this have to be so difficult!?!”
Then, as my wife was looking at me on the kitchen floor, looking at and talking to two cans of evaporated milk – probably wondering if this is the same man she trusts with her children – I had a House moment. You know what I’m talking about! In the most desperate time of need, when all else seemed doomed, something insanely random happened that made me stare off into space and then walk away with a purpose.
Going back to Danielle’s Instagram, I remember from stalking researching it there was something she always posted about. Her nails! I remember even complimenting her on the baseball design from the Kansas City game at the World Series.
Hey, look, I know what you’re thinking. But if I’m here, as a man with 2 kids and a loving wife, talking to you on my food blog about decorating cookies, then it’s not above me to say that I complimented a girl on her nails. And besides, they were baseball themed. And that’s a sport. So it’s ok.
Anyway, you insensitive pigs, I took notice of Danielle’s love for nail art. I also took notice of her being a consultant for Jamberry. And a successful one from what I hear!
It’s here that I knew I found my cookie! Looking on the Jamberry site – after explaining the situation to my wife in case she came across my browser history and continued her suspicions of me – I looked at the holiday line.
At first, I picked out like 4 or 5. They all seemed doable and like something that I can easily do. But as time went on, and the hectic rush that is the holiday season began sinking its claws into my life, 4 or 5 designs turned into 2 or 3. Then really looking at those designs, and all of a sudden remembering the crazy fact that I have never iced cookies before (yeah, seriously), those 2 or 3 designs turned into 1.
Yup, just 1! And I was totally cool with it. I felt really bad thinking it was the easiest, plainest design on there. But with time against me and my decorating skills equalling that of a grade schooler, I thought I was doing pretty good for myself. Also, there’s the whole thing of me being a guy. So the effort of just going to the site itself should’ve been enough. 😀
Anyway, that’s the design I went with. I figured it’s simple with 3 colors, basic shapes, and nothing crazy. Perfect for the cookie decorating n00b I am.
I was contemplating the shape of the cookies and if I was going to go traditional cookie cutter shapes or not. But the design might’ve gotten lost in those. So I went with the same shape the nail art designs are advertised on the site with.
Sadly, I didn’t have said shaped cookie cutter, so I had to free hand it with a paring knife. A paring knife! Some were bigger, some were smaller. Some had jagged edges, and some were perfect.. for testing on….. Point is, I did my best and that’s what counts, right!?
After thinking about it, of course when everything was done, I could’ve easily bent a cookie cutter I didn’t regularly use. It would’ve been faster, delivered a better product, and I would’ve felt like MacGyver. But no, I wasn’t thinking!
As for the cookie, I knew it was going to be chocolate. It had to be. I noticed she loves chocolate, and really, who doesn’t? So I gambled on a recipe I found and as it turns out, it’s pretty amazing. It’s a chocolate sugar cookie, but it’s so chewy and fudgy, it tastes like a straight up brownie. Seriously, if you don’t have a glass of milk handy, you’ll feel like your life has amounted to nothing till you fill the milkless void that was just created. Yes, this cookie makes you rethink your life and your accomplishments. It’s that freaking great.
For the icing, I didn’t go traditional. Usually for sugar cookies, a lot of people like going with egg whites. But since I didn’t know if Danielle shares the same iffy allergy as my wife when it comes to eggs, I played it safe and went with a sugar and milk based icing. It works really good and it’s what I’ll always use from now on. You know, because this is the first time I iced cookies. I’d just like to put that out there again.
Alright! You have the backstory and what led me to deciding what I was going to do. It was a long read, I know. But I had to share the inner struggles with Ghosts of Christmas Pasts, the narrowing down of the design, and you even have the reasoning behind the choice of cookie and icing. I think you’re ready for a peek behind the curtain.
So without further ado…
Chocolate Cutout Cookies
1 1/2 cups – Flour
3/4 cup – Cocoa Powder
1 1/4 teaspoon – Baking Powder
1/8 teaspoon – Salt
3/4 cup – Butter, softened
1 1/4 cups – Sugar
1 each – EggIcing
For the border icing:
1 cup – Powdered Sugar
1/2 teaspoon – Vanilla or other extract
2 to 2 1/2 tablespoons – MilkFor the flood icing:
Same as above, but add 1/2 – 1 tablespoons of milk
Notes:
Colors and decorating tips
I figured I’d separate this part since it’s fairly important.
There are 3 colors I used, so if you really want to recreate these cookies, pay attention.
See, aren’t you glad you’re paying attention?
I used 3 different tips:
Alright, I think most of the need-to-know stuff is out of the way. Let’s stop lolly gagging and just get to the deets.
First thing we have to do is the dough. And the first thing in making the dough is sifting.
House Elves love to mix.
Try and use a sharp knife, it helps. And if you feel it dragging and not really slicing through the dough, be sure to clean the knife before each slice. You can cut them whatever size you want, which is the benefit of free-handing them. But try and keep them more wide than narrow. 1 1/4 inches wide should be alright.
If you feel your free-hand cookie cutting skills aren’t up to par. Worry not! Just push the dough around and shape it the way it should be. I promise, no one is watching.
Now for the decorating…
As I have tried mentioning numerous times, this is my first time icing cookies. But with some general knowledge I was able to get by. Maybe there were easier ways of doing it, but hey, this worked for me!
And where there’s mixing!
Boom, You just made icing! Look out, world! Nothing can stop you now!
I found it easier to divide the border icing into 3 different containers – one for black, one for golden yellow, and one left uncolored – and mix all the colors in one shot.
I was having fun Instagramming the blotches of coloring. I didn’t notice it till a friend pointed it out, but I inadvertently swirled the Thundercats logo!
If you’re having trouble pouring the icing into a bag, just fold the bag over onto a cup. Works like a charm. And no, it doesn’t have to be a Destiny cup.
Try and give yourself a good amount of space since the icing process needs the cookies to lay flat without being touched for a while.
If you’re going and you notice it’s not flooding as much as you’d like. Don’t panic! Just be like me and push it along with a toothpick.
Once you have the red icing down, you might run into a few cookies where the belt is being overcomed by the suit. It looks like poor Santa is letting himself go, but you can fix it! Just grab the black icing and pipe a new belt on top of it. Crisis averted.
What I noticed was the left side of the buckle ran straight down the middle of the cookie. So it’s an easy starting point. Also, like I said before, keep the buckle on the belt. I got excited and before I noticed, I started making buckles bigger than the belt and it just looked ridiculously sloppy compared to the correct ones. Go ahead, look at the purposely unfocused cookies in that pic compared to the one in the front.
And that’s it! A lot of work huh? Not really, but it does seem like it. Trust me, I made it easy on myself. I was totally planning more designs. More complicated too. I’m pretty sure I would’ve been checked into a mental hospital if I tried to do them, not to mention the star of future “Top ‘Nailed It!’ Pinterest Fails”. God, those compilations are hilarious.
I don’t know if I mentioned this before… but this is the first time I’ve iced cookies! I know right?!?! What a shocker! Seriously, I was nerve racked all the way up to the end. I was worried my plans would fall through and they’d look terrible. But all in all, I’m pretty happy with how they came out.
Not to mention the way these pictures came out! I’m sorry, I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I impressed myself! I need to start taking pictures at the dining room table more often instead of that boring kitchen counter.
If for some insanely bizarre reason I make Jamberry style cookies again (I mean, how many more times can my Man Card be taken away, right?), I know there are a few things I’d do differently. But for the most part, I’m happy with the process!
Here’s to hoping Danielle enjoyed them! I’m looking forward to her comment here after she sees the thought process leading up to them.
And if I don’t post anything else, I hope everyone reading this has a very merry Christmas!!