Who I am

 

 

 

 

 

 

My name is Los. Not my full name, but it’s close. Which is more than what I can say about most of you out there. I’m just a regular dude. Seriously, there’s nothing to me. Ok, I may disguise myself as an onion with all these layers to peel through – I am The1llusiveMan, after all – but in reality, I’m pretty straight forward. If you follow me on Twitter you’ll notice I’m fairly open about a lot, so there’s not much for me to reveal here that would be breaking news.

I’m a 35 year old happy husband and a father of 2. My family is my life and it’s my reason for being. Yes, that’s what I tell myself repeatedly as my children compete to see who can raise my blood pressure the highest. If you didn’t know, trying to raise 2 boys is quite the chore, so I’m glad to have my amazing superwife by my side. We live right smack in the middle of Orlando, FL and couldn’t be happier. We were living in North Carolina for a few years and decided to sell our home and move back here. It was a rough road but I don’t regret it for a second. I used to curse it and hated living here where it’s deathly hot 48 weeks of the year and mildly hot the other 4. But to be back? It’s an amazing feeling. Like I’m dreaming and I know I’m in a dream. Orlando is a beautiful place built around magic, dreams, and imagination. And I’m happy to raise my kids here.

Before Orlando, I called the streets of Bronx, NY home. It’s where I was born and raised and like many other New Yorkers, I’m proud to call it home. But haha, like NC, that’s another place I’ll never live in again. When we go back there for vacation sometimes I’m in culture shock, not able to believe I lived my life so fast paced and hectic before. For a long time I thought I preferred a bustling city over anything, but I’m too happy living outside all that madness.

 

I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams. – The Eleventh Doctor

 

I’m a gamer at heart. Grew up with a controller in my hand thanks to my parents. Going through school it was an off and on hobby but for the last 10 years or so it’s been on the top of my list when I have spare time to kick back. It’s my outlet. Beat the bad guys, explore new worlds, save the galaxy, all that jazz. I know, I’m in my 30’s and I like playing video games. Such a terrible thing to do. Guess I could be doing more grown-up man things like watching football and going to bars because “the wings are good”. Yeah, no thanks. I’m a nerd. Sorry. (Not sorry).

I AM sorry about something though. In June of 2018 my bud and I decided to call it quits on our gaming podcast. It’s something that I feel bad about because the reason for stopping was time. It was a blast to put out shows and have that as an outlet to talk about games and life. I look forward to one day having a podcast of some sort where I would have something interesting to say about certain topics (hint hint?!), but for now, I’ll just fondly reminisce on my time as a Future Monkey.

 

To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?” Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be? – John Keating 

 

As far as everything else goes, what else can I say? I’m into a lot of stuff. Like, if you need some stuff to be into, then please take some of mine. Maybe then I’ll have time to read a book or beat a game instead of wasting so much time just trying to figure out what to do with my spare time! Ok, I guess you want details? I enjoy reading a good book. When I get into one it’s extremely hard to put it down, but the problem is actually picking one up, haha. Movies and TV shows, of course. Wife and I enjoy getting into different types of shows and attempting to keep up. Seriously, why do shows need 23 seasons with 30 episodes each? Remember mini-series? Let’s bring those back. Ok, what else? I’m a recovering social media junkie. Used to spend so long trying to catch up with everything. But nowadays I’m trying to not be glued to it as much. I created a Facebook account just for the blog, but I am rarely on there. I still have to ask the wife how to do a lot of things as if I’m a grandparent with their first smartphone, it’s hilariously embarrassing. I’m more of a Twitter guy and lately when it comes to the blog I’ve been all over Instagram. So get on there if you want to keep up with me. What else, what else… I love dessert to the point where no matter how much I eat I’ll always have room for it. It’s very strange, but if that turns out to be my superpower, I’m ok with that. Hmm… Like the rest of this household I’m a huge fan and admirer of all things Disney. Loooooove me some Disney. Grew up on it and so did the wife. So we’re making sure our kids do the same. Disney is one of the many reasons we moved back to Florida. So our kids could have fun growing up around the characters they love. I also love me some Limited or Collector’s Edition stuff. Games, movies, figurines, whatever. I am a complete and utter sucker for those things and a collector at heart. I dig musicals (fave is Jekyll & Hyde), I like Nicolas Cage movies, I can go on and on, I think you get it.

What? You want me to go on and on? O0o0o0o0ok…

 

If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty eight miles per hour, you’re gonna see some serious shit. – Doc Brown 

 

Some more of my favorite movies/series/actors/random things include (in no order whatsoever): Everything and anything Star Wars (having kids now when Star Wars is this mass force that seems to be unstoppable is so great. It’s an amazing thing to share with them), Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, The Hunger Games (just mentioning it makes me want to read the books again), Pizza, Spring, Jurassic Park (yes, all of them), Poetry, LOVE The Nightmare Before Christmas (my fave Disney movie), Cheesecake, Sandwiches (yes, in general), Dreaming, Superheroes, Catchy Melodies and Goosebump-inducing Harmonies, (speaking of which!) Pitch Perfect – oh snap I love that flick, Cinnamon (the spice, not the stripper), Tom Hanks, Baseball, Ghostbusters, Egg Cream, all things Marvel, Treasure Hunting Movies and stories, Comics, This is Us, Clearance Shopping/Bargain Hunting, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Pizza, Corny Dad Jokes, J.J. Abrams, Back to the Future, Leonardo DiCaprio, Toe Socks, Podcasts, Space (in general), Dessert before or totally replacing Dinner, Stories with alternate timelines, Fall, Technology, Modern twists on fairy tales, Catch Me If You Can, a really good Panini, Bunheads (STILL mad it was cancelled), Pizza, Emma Stone, the smell and atmosphere of Bakeries, Matthew McConaughey movies, Winter, Wallpapers (for desktops and phones, not for actual walls), Mmm, Pizza, 24 Hour Local News Channels, Indiana Jones, Pixar Movies, A Knight’s Tale, Fight Club, and I’m a sucker for Doctor Who.

See? I’m just an overall nerd/dork/geek who loves pizza (don’t think I mentioned that), pretends he has control of The Force when no one is looking, and who happened to start a food blog. What’s wrong with that?!

Now that my details are out of the way, and I hope I covered enough to give you a good idea of who I was, let’s talk about what I have going on here. I mean, if you’re still reading then there’s a good chance you actually care about this stuff. 

 

How I Got to this Point…

I am currently in the 7th year of blogging on this site. This is my 3rd blog that I’ve started, and crazily, its 3rd version. Following? Ok. That banner just above here? It’s from my first blog on Blogger, before I transitioned to wordpress.com. Then the third version is here, when I went from wordpress.com to .org. And you know what?

..None of that really matters, does it?

Ok, here we are! When I started The Man, The Chef, The Dad I had every intention of branching out with the content and covering different topics: Personal interests with The Man, cooking and general kitchen talk with The Chef, and family stuff with The Dad. I was going to keep it primarily cooking, but the whole food blogging world got the best of me. I was trying to keep up with other food blogs I was following, on top of various social networks, other hobby’s, and the whole taking care of the kids thing. Then on top of it all I had to also put out blog posts myself. I discovered my lifestyle just wasn’t made to keep up with a blog and everything that comes with it more than once a week.

Ok, fine, once every 2 or 3 weeks… Sometimes on a month to month basis. Or… every two months..? My goodness, I’m such a terrible blogger, haha.

So, I finally decided to put this place’s name to use. I still try to keep it mainly food, but I’m happy knowing I can post other stuff without guilt. It is, in fact, my blog. My thoughts. So I’m happy I reached that point where I can put something out and just say take it or leave it. When you have a blog, you’re doing it for you. As long as you remember that then the time put into it will always be worth it.

 

Try some more! The strawberries taste like strawberries, and the snozzberries taste like snozzberries! (Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?) We are the music makers… and we are the dreamers of dreams… – Willy Wonka

 

Concerning blogging…

When I first started blogging, it was back when I was foolish enough to try and blog about food while working in a kitchen that kicked my ass from clock in to clock out. Needless to say, I didn’t want to come home and talk about food after I cursed at it all day long. After that, I tried a poetry blog called The Pied Poet. I enjoyed having a place to put all my old writings, but my laziness prevailed and even copy and pasting was too much for me to handle. I sometimes get inspired and want to go back to it but I usually just take that urge and beat it with a stick till it quiets down. I do have a category here for poetry, so maybe one day something will happen with that.

Like I briefly skimmed on above, blogging is like a social network. You’re posting whatever it is you’re posting, and people out there somewhere are taking it in. They interact, you interact back, it’s a network. And in that network, there are hundreds and hundreds of bloggers. Over the years I’ve come across and talked to some pretty cool people. Some of which I make it a point to check out every post they publish whenever I can. It’s a huge collection of talented, interesting people from all walks of life. Teaching you things you never knew, showing you things you’ve never seen, giving you ideas you know you never would’ve thought of. So when someone looks at me judgingly after I tell them I’m a blogger, I get a small sense of pride. This is a community I’m a part of, and I’m not afraid to flaunt it.

 

..Always. – Professor Severus Snape

 

Concerning this blog…

Surprisingly enough, considering my history with blogs, The Man, The Chef, The Dad has kind of stuck on me and I find it kind of entertaining to keep up with it. 7 years or so at the time of this writing, this is the longest I’ve ever stuck to a project… wow.. I think, ever. That’s something right?

Throughout that time I’ve had my ups and downs consisting of several “oh! I can’t wait to blog this!” moments that seemed to be just as frequent as the “ugh, I have a blog that I have to update” moments. But hey, I’m still here so that’s good. Although, I think one of the main reasons why I’ve kept at it so long is to have a scapegoat for my unhealthy addiction of taking pictures of my food. Seriously, we’re a bunch of weirdos, we need to stop doing that so much. …At least in public. Speaking of pictures, here’s a little game: If you’re looking around my blog, try and find the really old, early posts. Compare the pictures to my more current ones and see how much they’ve evolved. I’m not saying I’m the greatest by any means, but seeing the difference is really eye opening for me. Shows how far I’ve come on a personal level.

Again, I’m glad I decided to go beyond food, though. I feel it freshened up the site for me as the creator and gave me the freedom I needed to never be bored with it. The luxury of having a place to write not only recipes, but about anything you have on your mind is a great feeling. 

 

What you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world. – Ian Malcolm

 

Concerning The Man…

I mentioned that I loved to write. Growing up, I always had a pen and pad on me and didn’t hesitate to write down what I was feeling or thinking. This way of life proved both good and bad. Bad because to really speak my mind and pour my heart out, I have to type or write it out. And good because we’re in an age where that’s easy to do. Haha! I win! When I’m not writing, I’m trying to game, but you already knew that. I’m not a drinker, though I don’t mind trying a beer or cocktail here or there. I don’t have a favorite, but I love fall and winter beers and will always take a rum drink over anything. I never liked parties, I’ve never nor do I ever plan on smoking or doing drugs, I don’t go to bars…  I like doing things like walking around stores for no reason – Best Buy, Barnes & Noble, Target. Ever have a date night with the significant other and be perfectly ok with doing crazy adult things like walking around the towel aisle at Target? Yeah, me too. I like going to places I’ve never been and experiencing that sense of awe – not different countries or states, I mean like the first time I went into Whole Foods… mind = blown. I like taking pictures pretending I know what I’m doing, and I’m a sucker for a funny novelty t-shirt. I’m pretty much the lamest guy you’d probably ever meet. And you wonder why I have a food blog!

Seriously though, I’m happy with myself and the man I’ve become. I had an inner struggle for a long time, and still do sometimes (more on that a few paragraphs down), but for the most part, I wouldn’t change anything about me.

 

To trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on. – Geoffrey Chaucer

 

Concerning The Chef…

The Chef… Haha. Ok, let me let the cat out of the bag now. I was never a chef. There, I said it! Matter of fact, I can’t stand them. In my 10 year career, all I ever was was a humble cook. I was a Kitchen Manager once, but on average, just a cook. I have a culinary school degree saying I’m a chef, but we all know what culinary school degrees are worth… Being a chef took an unimaginable amount of passion that I did not have the strength to muster. Oh, and ass kissing. I can’t forget the ass kissing. a loooooot of ass kissing. Ratio of ass kissing to passion was roughly 3:1, I’ve done the math. I was able to wing the passion for a long time, but I wasn’t about to kiss anyone’s ass to get ahead. Especially when it was doing something I hated. Oh yeah, did I mention that? I hated cooking professionally. From the first day I started working, fresh out of culinary school, to the last day where I was let go because the company had to make cuts, I hated the kitchen. Despised it. And my loathing didn’t stop at the kitchen. It stretched to the entire restaurant industry. For those 10 years, I was the culinary equivalent of Tyler Durden. Waiting, plotting, dreaming of one day carrying out Project Mayhem and basking in the glory that followed.

But I have to admit. As much as I hated it all, I learned a lot. And while I never attained the title of Chef, I figured with my years under my belt, my degree, my knowledge and know-how of what’s right and what’s wrong, and well, just because, I’ll go ahead and promote myself. Not to mention people just tend to treat you a little nicer if you say chef rather than cook.

I know, how can I have a blog dedicated to something I hate? Notice, I said cooking professionally. I love food, I love crafting and creating, melding flavors together like a mad scientist. But when it comes to the professional kitchen, there are too many politics. Too many stresses. Too many Chiefs, and not enough Indians. When you cook in a professional kitchen, it’s rare to find somewhere that caters to the cook/chef. Where your creative side is encouraged. Most of everywhere you’ll go it’s just a glorified factory, pumping out dish after dish that you have to cook to make this person you’ve never met happy. It’s an environment you have to be a certain type of person to enjoy it. I’m just not that person.

Wha… how.. how did I get up on this soapbox?! It’s like it just appeared here out of nowhere!

 

Back off, man. I’m a scientist. – Dr. Peter Venkman

 

Concerning The Dad…

And here we are. The reason for not just my blog, but for everything. When I was let go from my final job, I tried for close to a year to find something new. And in that year, we somehow managed. We managed well enough that my amazing, hard working wife decided that I should just be a stay-at-home dad. My son, Seb, was only a couple of months old when I was laid off, and it seemed almost like it was meant to happen. For those few months we were struggling more with trying to hand him off like a football between working our jobs, not to mention the strain it put on us and our marriage. But we were forced to make it work with just her working and it was better than what we expected. Whatever job I found would have basically been paying for childcare alone, so it would not have been worth it. So very reluctantly, I started to come to grips with the fact that I won’t be financially providing for my family.

It took a long time to get over that, and I’d be lying to you if I said it didn’t bother me sometimes still. It’s a cloud over your head when someone asks you what you do and you say stay-at-home dad. It’s amazing how common it is these days, but even more amazing how it’s still looked upon with questionable eyes. I know it’s better for everyone involved. Our sons – 8 year old Seb and 5 year old Luc – won’t be raised by a stranger, my wife can get out of work and walk into a semi-clean home (about a quarter of half of the time) and a hot meal (most of the time), and I get to make everyone as happy as I can – but I still have my moments of doubt and self-hate, no question about that.

When those moments got to me – the empty shell feeling of not being able to support my family was the hardest pill to swallow – I knew I needed something to do besides gaming since that kinda cost money to keep up with. Not to mention it’s a very personal hobby that only I benefit from. And sometimes, I still feel an underlying guilt if I’m doing something for just myself. Like I can’t go out somewhere on my own and leave the fam at home while I have fun. The guilt would be too strong because my wife is the one who works and I’m the one who doesn’t. Anyway, that’s when I decided to get back into blogging. I had the time, I had the patience. I was able to put something into it.

After a while, I got over myself and I was able to enjoy everything a lot more. I was able to look at everything half-full, and when my perspective changed, my wife was right there to help bring me back. I know the only reason why all of this works is because she is in full support of it. And yes, I know how lucky I am for that. Not to mention the blessing of being able to stay home with your kids all day. Which I don’t care what anyone says, that’s a freaking JOB. Seriously, don’t get me started. As they get older, the more I’m ok with releasing them in the wild and taking the chance of them being raised by wolves. 

 

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. – Tyler Durden

 

I know this turned into my life story, but hey, it’s my About Me page! Don’t say you didn’t ask for it by clicking! I think I laid a lot on the table here. And I’m glad I did. It was a good way to learn more about yourself and appreciate things. It’s been a long road with this site and while it’s not updated every week, it’s something I’m proud is out there and that it’s mine. You should have a really good idea of who I am by now, not to mention how I got to this moment in my life. If you want to know everything else like what I just had for dinner, then give me a follow on my socials. Like I said, I’m pretty partial to Instagram right now, so there’s your best bet. 

Here’s to hoping you enjoy your time on my blog!